The Brave Conversations Method

In the first article of this series, we explored why conflict is so prevalent in public safety communication centers. It shows up everywhere—between shifts, among team members, and between leadership and frontline staff. Tension simmers when someone snaps at you mid-call, a co-worker shuts down your request for help, or a supervisor overlooks your contributions. Conflict isn’t just about major blowups, it’s also the small, everyday frustrations that build over time.

Why we avoid conflict (even when it’s hurting us)
Most of us weren’t taught how to navigate conflict effectively. In a 911 center, where stress is already maxed out, avoiding conflict feels like the safer choice. But avoidance doesn’t erase issues; what we think is buried often resurfaces stronger than before.

Unmanaged conflict creates resentment that poisons team culture, causes miscommunication that affects efficiency, consumes your mental space, and erodes trust. All of this divides—rather than connects—teams.

In this second article, we’ll explore how to approach conflict with confidence, using a step-by-step framework that you can put into action immediately. Conflict can be an opportunity to strengthen relationships and build trust if we know how to navigate it; that’s where Brave Conversations come in.

Brave Conversations: Not just a skillset but a mindset
Brave Conversations aren’t just about managing conflict—they’re about how we show up in difficult conversations. They help us clear up misunderstandings, address behaviors, and build stronger relationships.

I created this method from my own struggle with conflict. Growing up in a home where conflict was often avoided, I carried that pattern into my career, sacrificing my boundaries and well being just to "keep the peace." But the peace I was keeping wasn’t mine, and eventually, it cost me too much.

Determined to end this soul-sucking cycle, I committed to finding a better way—to become conflict competent. What I learned changed everything. I stopped overthinking, avoiding, and letting unresolved tension drain me. And once I saw the impact, I knew I had to share it.

If this hits home for you, it’s because your journey from staying small to standing in your truth is exactly what makes Brave Conversations so powerful. It’s not just about conflict; it’s about reclaiming your voice, boundaries, and confidence.

The Brave Conversations Method is a structured framework I now teach in workshops, leadership trainings, and coaching sessions. It helps professionals in high-stakes environments move from avoidance to action, without the pressure of having to fix someone or force an outcome.

Brave Conversations: Clarity, connection, and accountability
Brave Conversations provide the confidence to speak your truth, ask for what you need, and create solutions. They’re built on three core principles that shift you from fear to empowerment.

1. Curiosity: The antidote to assumptions When conflict arises, we often assume the worst: “They don’t respect me. They’re doing this on purpose. They don’t care.” 
But most of the time, we’re wrong. Instead of assuming, ask: 
• What else could be true?
• Is there a piece I don’t see?
• What might be going on for them?
Curiosity isn’t about excusing behavior—it’s about understanding before judgment. And when we do that, everything shifts.

2. Compassion with boundaries: You can be kind and clear 
Compassion isn’t about letting things slide—it’s about seeing the human across from you while standing firm in your expectations. You can acknowledge someone’s struggles without excusing poor behavior. Holding compassion and accountability at the same time is not only possible—it’s necessary.

3. Courage: The hard part that changes everything
Conflict is uncomfortable, but one question shifts everything: “What’s the best that could happen?” Instead of fearing the worst, imagine:
• What if this conversation clears the air?
• What if they had no idea they were impacting me this way?
• What if I stop carrying this frustration, and it frees up my energy for better things?
Bravery isn’t about acting without fear—it’s about choosing action anyway.

Knowing when a Brave Conversation isn’t the right fit
Let’s be clear: Not every conflict should be handled one-on-one. There are times when escalation is necessary, including: workplace policy violations (harassment, discrimination, misconduct), serious disciplinary matters, situations where it’s unsafe to engage, or when the other party refuses to engage in good faith.

If the situation falls into one of these categories, it’s not a Brave Conversation, but a leadership or HR issue. Know when to address conflict directly and when to escalate appropriately; when in doubt, reach out!

Before you begin: The “pre-trip inspection”
Set yourself up for success before stepping into the conversation. The pre-trip inspection is one of the most important steps, so don’t skip it. Here’s your checklist:
ο Check yourself first: Are you emotionally regulated and ready? Can you stay curious, compassionate, and out of judgment? Are you mindful of your triggers and how you’ll manage them if they show up?
ο Plan your key points: Use the Brave Conversations step-by-step method to plan and write out your discussion. Clarity reduces defensiveness and increases confidence.
ο Find a spotter and practice: Run it by a trusted confidant who can both support your success and give you the honest feedback you need.
ο Align your energy and mindset: Before you begin the conversation ask yourself, “What’s the best that could happen?” People can feel the energy in a room before anyone says a word, and they respond to it accordingly. We are exceptionally good at sensing this in our profession. Create the environmental vibe where positive results are possible, and you’ll be blown away by the good things that happen.

The Brave Conversations framework: A guide, not a script
Brave Conversations aren’t about having a perfect, rehearsed speech. They’re about clarity, connection, and confidence. A structured approach helps you stay grounded. Here’s how:
1. Invite and ask permission: “Hey, can we chat for a few minutes? There’s something I’d like to talk about that’s been weighing on me.”
2. Describe the behavior (not the person): “During yesterday’s shift, when I asked you to double-check that address, you responded with ‘Are you serious?’ and shook your head.”
3. Describe the impact: “That caught me off guard, and I felt dismissed. It makes me hesitant to ask for help next time, which isn’t good for either of us.”
4. Invite their perspective: “Can you help me understand what was going on in that moment?”
5. State what you need moving forward: “I know we’re all under pressure, but I want to make sure we can communicate openly. In the future, I’d really appreciate a more supportive response.”
6. Check for agreement: “Can we agree to that?”

When conflict gets difficult: Staying grounded, de-escalating, and knowing when to walk away
One of the biggest fears about conflict is: “What if they don’t take responsibility? What if they blame me, shut down, or refuse to engage?” Not everyone responds well to conflict. Some will blame, deny, deflect, or escalate. The key? Stay calm, hold your boundaries, and redirect the conversation.
Redirect deflection: “I’d like to focus on this situation. If you have concerns about a separate incident, we can discuss them another time.”
Acknowledge their perspective without letting it derail the issue: “We may not see this the same way, but I want to focus on the impact and how we move forward from here.”
Hold your ground: “I know this may not seem like a big deal to you, but it’s important to me.”
If emotions escalate, use de-escalation strategies:
• Lower your voice: A calm tone prevents escalation.
• Slow the pace: Take a second before responding.
• Acknowledge emotions: “I can see this is frustrating for you.”
• Redirect to the core issue: “Let’s focus on how we move forward.”

Despite your best efforts, not every conversation will lead to resolution. If the discussion becomes unproductive or toxic, you have the option to press pause or walk away.
• Pause and revisit later if emotions are high or the conversation is stuck.
• Step away for good if the person refuses to engage, escalates despite de-escalation, or if the relationship is no longer worth the effort.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk away for your own peace. You can exit gracefully with a simple, “I can see we’re not going to resolve this, so I’m stepping away.”

If the situation involves harassment, threats, or serious misconduct, escalate to leadership or HR.

Brave Conversations change everything
Are you ready to have that conversation you’ve been putting off? Do you want to free yourself from frustration and build trust and connection with the people in your life?

Brave Conversations empower you to set boundaries, communicate with confidence, and navigate conflict without overthinking or avoidance.

No more waiting. You’ve got this! Download the “Brave Conversations Playbook” for deeper strategies here: Brave 
Conversations Guide